What to do when you lost your hope?

[Chessboxin]

Hey guys, sorry to write this, i´m on the verge of a nervous collapse, it has been more than 6 months of this utter hell, I´m contemplating suicide every day... I went thru permanent side effects with accutane in 2008 till this very day, and this year this shit strike me with more shit in my life... can´t bear with it, really. Life is being the meaneast bitch of the bitches, lost my dad last year, everyday it´s a torture, this is no fucking life, this is a shell of what it was a full person. I´m getting fatter because of lack of motivation, balder from the past accutane use, my dick is smaller, an erection it´s like a thing of the past, just getting those unreliable weak erections even taking 5 mg cialis per day, an orgasm is no better than a scratch in the back, number than hell, can´t even feel it..... this can´t be true, if this is what the future have for me, fuck, I´m going to pass on this.

I feel like a dead man walking, no hope, no motivation, the only thing that keeps me alive is my mom and my two dogs, these are the reason because I didn´t already quitted, I can´t take it anymore, this horrible pain, if I wasn´t suck a chicken I should man it up and end my misery....

Sorry about the vent, I can´t take it anymore

[Ghost]

the only thing that keeps me alive is my mom and my two dogs

These are reasons enough to stay. I've been in a very dark place 2 years ago and am so glad that I didn't end my life. Things can and do get better. You just need to trust that and hang on.

[Ghost]

There are always new things to try for PSSD. I could name them all day.

If you don't think that you can be safe on your own, please check into a mental facility. There is a treatment out there somewhere that can help you. PSSD is hard alone, but near impossible when you are still struggling with mental illness.

[jaiho]

Please find a good psychiatrist. The anti pharma thinking is extremely dangerous.

Like anti vaccinations. People die from this shit.

[Coraggio]

We are not anti-pharma jaiho but post-pharma victim. It's different.

Chessboxin, I can understand a lot. I am in same condition. Like Ghost says PSSD is quite possible alone. I can give you some suggestion which I use to hold on: 1) share your condition with your family and some of your best friend. For me is very helpfull. 2) If you are a beliver start to pray a lot, i wasn' t anymore but now is very important for me. I think is some kind of meditation, it improves my cognitive part. My thought is: my life is fucked, now I can only fight for find a solution for me and PSSD comunity. At least my life gets a significance again. I don' t want quit before have reached something good in this war against bigPharma. 3) find something supplement that it can give you a shelter, I mean something to stay better for a moment when you stay really bad. I suggest you something increasing dopamine. 4) try what has healed someone. There are some few report of cured case of PSSD.

Chessboxin, I send you a very big hug. VERY BIG.

[jaiho]

seriously? take up prayer?
A man is in terrible mental pain and people say stuff like that. or try something to increase dopamine?
Spending time with family & friends, exercise, meditation, all that stuff is helpful for someone not in a severe clinical depression.

Get to a professional, please don't read the internet anymore. It will put you into the deepest darkest places because you will not want to take meds.

[Coraggio]

seriously? take up prayer?
A man is in terrible mental pain and people say stuff like that. or try something to increase dopamine?
Spending time with family & friends, exercise, meditation, all that stuff is helpful for someone not in a severe clinical depression.

Get to a professional, please don't read the internet anymore. It will put you into the deepest darkest places because you will not want to take meds.

Man, I am going to become a doctor soon. Meds are usefull in some cases. For me SSRI were vary usefull but like Finasteride they can lead to a terrible iatrogen syndrome which persists for long time. Scientific studies speak theirself. Check it out.

And, most important, I hope you will develope PSSD like us so you can shut up your f*****g mouth forever.

[fablecloth]

It's not worth it mate.

I feel you. For me it's not so much having PSSD on a daily basis, but thoughts about how much in life I'm missing on, that gets me down.

I've had some pretty dark thoughts, but I've just thought that fuck it, I might as well just ride it out and see what happens.

But it's not easy. And it hurts to see others so happy and free and in relationships.

Life's not all that bad. We're missing out on a LOT, let's not kid ourselves. But there's still much to look forward to.

These things will improve over time. We're all in this together, so know that you're not alone.

[DoIt]

Try NSI-189.

[Bunny]

What helps me is reading recovery stories (I've got links for every story I could find if anyone wants to see them) and reminding myself that people can and do recover from this. I myself have had PSSD since 2009 and still experience windows (I'm actually having a very good window right now). It's not impossible.

And, personally speaking: yeah. Prayer does help. As does heavy (and I do mean heavy) exercise -- every other day if you can manage it.

Finally: find a good holistic/integrative psychiatrist. It helps the most out of anything to have a professional on your side.