New Member - My story

New members can only post here until they introduce themselves
egenvoid
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Nov 29, 2022 5:03 am
Contact:

New Member - My story

Unread post by egenvoid »

Hi all, i'm a 40 years old man from Europe.

Since I've discovered the papers and documentation about PSSD and the stuff related I'm quite intrigued since this gives my personal story a new point of view.
I have been never able to achieve an erection neither enjoy the sex with women since I started my sexual life at 18 years old. Also, I recall feeling the first orgasms that women lead me to as something which was "painfull" or "disgusting". The full intimacy session was surrounded of "what I'm doing here" sensation and a feeling of "I do not understand nothing at all of whats happening here", or some variations of these kind of feelings.

This has been until today. I also started thinking in my tweenties that I was wrong at my sexual preferences so this brough me to have a number of affaires with other men. To be fair it wasn't as painfull as with the women, but the same symptoms and feelings persisted and unfortunately i'm pretty sure i'm not homosexual. So this was not a very clever idea or solution.

Regarding the relationships with women along these years, the use of sildenafil/tadafil or other erection helpers do not help at all. Some years ago they started to function to some extend, I dont now why. But the numbness and the lack of pleasure makes very hard to achieve nothing within the intimacy time.
Luckily I'm married to a woman which has accepted this situation, although I'm pretty sure that this hurts her a little bit.
To make things worse, I've a high sexual drive in a very sexualized society, so this makes me suffer more.

Anyway, all of these things have always been explained with the aid of psycological and psichatryst counseling, almost 20 years, and so far I was pretty happy with the explanation or the story i've concluded to explain this:some kind of child misbehaviours and a lot of loneliness and depression and troublesome relationships with the others.

The thing is that I was medicated with tricyclical SRIs whan I was a teenager, starting at 14 years old: Imipramine, clorimipramine and maprotiline, which are listed on some papers about PSSD, althought these are not properly SSRIs. At 18 or something like that I started on paroxetine and in my twentiees fluoxetine. Al of these thing along with a ton of benzodiazepines, diazepam mostly.
I certainly needed help, but i'm pretty sure that giving only drugs to a very depressed kid without any type of counseling was not the best idea.

So this is a short resume of my life, now the big question. Are my sexual inabilities caused by the early medication I was given or
caused by the psicologychal situation I was living and led to doctors give these pills? To be honest, I'm prone to avoid the full "drug issue" explanation. But I'm not sure anymore, other symptons listed as PSSD symptons are present as well, such the "emotional numbing".

So here I'm, expecting to learn more, at least.

If you have read all of the above, thank you so much for your time, and please be indulgent with my english since it's not my mother tongue.

Best regards and wished to you all
Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 13 guests