PSSD like experiance (PAPSD?) and FND.

General discussions. Feel free to use this like a support group also.
6-Eggs!
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Re: PSSD like experiance (PAPSD?) and FND.

Unread post by 6-Eggs! »

Not a lot to report on.

Seen improvements in most symptoms but not a lot sexually. Hands and face and sometimes feet feel dull and has that foreign cling wrap like feeling, although I am now having decently long periods where it goes away and not as bad now.

Feel mentally much better, sleep is very decent. Night time and morning wood and libido have improved a lot and getting some days where this spills into the daytime. Oddly I had a few days here and there with genital pain (raw like burning? sensation) just like in Sept-Dec last year but it goes away completely most of the time.

Glans is suffering with the flaccid problem lately but so is the libido in general. Still good some days. Sensation might be slightly down but some days it's almost normal and oral sex feels amazing, better than it ever had in my life. I never really enjoyed it before and this is something new that has improved over the last 4 months despite the crippling numbness before. Sometimes my orgasms are a bit muted but only once off here and there and other times they are extremely intense. So up and down. Semen volume is down but that was my whole experience while I was on Rexulti in the first place. When I was off it for a few months, my volume increased a lot

I am about 4 weeks into the lower 1/16th dose so it's still early days. Still waking up with an itchy face most nights but now I am fully conscious and voluntary when I feel the need to scratch it and the itchiness is not as bad now.

I have heaps of motivation now. Started working 2 days a week now and not suffering from those weird seizure/narcolepsy attacks when driving home from work atm which is a good sign. I am often out of the house now and working on my cars which is a big hobby of mine that was on hold since I was on Rexulti (lack of motivation).

That debilitating pressure and dizzy head sensation is like 95% gone too. :D I had that for months and it was very unpleasant.
6-Eggs!
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Re: PSSD like experiance (PAPSD?) and FND.

Unread post by 6-Eggs! »

Update,

it's been about 6 weeks since the reduction(including the alternating days before compounding).

2-3 weeks ago I worsened with some of my symptoms, mainly pain in my bits, and feet and reduced and altered sensation in hand, feet and face. The pain was not fun, same sort of thing I had from late August to mid Nov. It became less frequent and shorted lived in the last 2 weeks. Seems to be gone now from what I can tell.

My glans sensation very slowly worsened over the last 3-4 weeks to 70-80% and my soft glans got worse too. Then in the last week and a bit most of my other symptoms mostly went. I got increase in random excitement type anxiety, the type that feels good. I also got a big improvement in libido and my glans erection suddenly improved and so did the sensation. So far looking good. I feel better than ever since this started last year.

My gf and I had the best sex yesterday, super intense. It had to be the biggest ejaculation I have ever done. When I pulled out the semen came out like a hose. The puddle was about 5 x 10" on the bed sheet. It was ridiculous! I hope to see this steady improvement and hopefully once completely drug free for a while I can fully recover.


Oh and my hand and feet sweating ability appears to have completely recovered at least when I am awake (still impaired/shut off when asleep)
6-Eggs!
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Re: PSSD like experiance (PAPSD?) and FND.

Unread post by 6-Eggs! »

Update again.

Having some issues sleeping some nights but no where near as bad as before. Just not fully falling asleep and wake up again at 1:30. Trying again after that results in a good normal sleep otherwise. Few bouts of head pressure and visual dizziness has come back but much more mild than previously.

The pain seems to have gone, about time!

My libido is basically borderline hypersexual atm. My glans is very sensitive now, basically some days it feels like it's recovered. Soft glans had improved a lot again and I also found it's finally responding to viagra, only 10mg or so is a big help for the glans but I need to stay at that low dose as the shaft is so damn hard it feels like it's going to explode from the blood pressure. Haven't had that hard erection since my early 20s and teen years.

Also starting to wake up with my hands having moisture, so the sweating is starting to work in my hands even when sleeping. I have not had this since Dec.
Manicmedic
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Re: PSSD like experiance (PAPSD?) and FND.

Unread post by Manicmedic »

Man that is a lot for one person to deal with. It is good to hear you found a good doc and things are going better. Something I always tell my kids about that I see in eff3ct daily as a paramedic. Positive mental attitude plays a huge role in healing.
6-Eggs!
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Re: PSSD like experiance (PAPSD?) and FND.

Unread post by 6-Eggs! »

Thanks for the kind words man, yeah my doc is fantastic. Also my gf is just the best and she has been a great support. I met her just 6 months before stopping Rexulti and getting into this mess. But I had sexual issues before I met her anyway from the Rexulti but she still thinks I am a sex maniac either way and still manage ok in that department regardless.

100%, positive mind state makes a big difference. Mind is neurology and vise versa, heavily influencing each other's recovery.
6-Eggs!
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Re: PSSD like experiance (PAPSD?) and FND.

Unread post by 6-Eggs! »

Update. Been a bit rough lately. Since the reduction I had many symptoms fluctuate like mad and some worsened before they got better in the typical delayed fashion that Rexulti does. I also got a bad flu and was very sick with fever for 10 days and weak and muscle/joint pain and this flared up my neuro/PSSD symptoms quite bad but the good news is it's settled down now and is quite manageable with improvements daily.

I had re-occurrence of the cling wrap feeling on my lower legs, face and hands/forearms after I had a re-occurrence of pain in my legs and bits about 2 weeks prior. Very similar pattern and timeline to the first time quitting late last year but nowhere near as severe although it was still unpleasant. Also the dryness came back pretty bad but is good again with progressive improvements.

I am due to do the next reduction in about 2-3 weeks to 0.0625mg or 1/32th.

Sensation is very good atm with fluctuations reduced a lot and more consistently good.
6-Eggs!
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Re: PSSD like experiance (PAPSD?) and FND.

Unread post by 6-Eggs! »

Haven't posted in a while. I have been pretty good mostly. Working regularly at 2 days a week back to back with 0 issues.

About to drop to 1/32nd dose at 0.0625mg tomorrow night.

My libido is pretty terrible at the moment and slowly got worse from the last post, just like the last dose right towards the end before reduction was due, so I was kind of expecting it. As a result my erections have been pretty crap but occasionally they have been good and close to normal.

Still having weird cling wrap like sensations but markedly reduced and less frequent and shorter lived compared to when I last posted. My legs only get mildly triggered after a shower but not always.

The great news is my glans sensation hit what feels like 100% many times since the last post and the last 2 weeks it's been very consistent, floating around 90-100%, more often near 100% than not.
My orgasms and ejaculations are out of this world. I feel like they are better than pre depression and drugs. So it's kind of odd having virtually no libido and having great difficulty getting aroused but as soon as I manage to get over that threshold for arousal and become very aroused I have fantastic sex with overwhelming pleasure.

I feel like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel finally.
6-Eggs!
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Re: PSSD like experiance (PAPSD?) and FND.

Unread post by 6-Eggs! »

Some interesting things have happen.

I lost vision on both eyes on the right side field of view for about an hour with weird zigzag lines of colours. Went to emergency as the nurse on call thought it might be a stroke. On the way there I had a odd feeling severe headache. I got a CT scan of my brain and no issues were found. They think it was my first migraine. It resolved itself and have not had one since. This was over a week ago.

Few days after I descided to reduce my moclobemide since the last time was about 6 months ago. I went from 150mg to 75mg which is about 60-65 occupancy to about 50%.
Within 24 hours my glans erections resolved for the first time since almost a year ago and was pretty consistent for the week with a few times not so great but still erecting in the correct order, glans first and then shaft which is how it always was before I had SD or even took meds. This is very promising, but come the 1 week mark I felt like crap, very irritated and angry feeling and sad at the same time, this was yesterday and seems to have mostly resolved today. I have had this slight feeling on and off maybe 2-3 weeks prior to any recent reduction so I think it was an existing symptom but was exacerbated badly by reducing both so close together.

Last night my eyes, temples and nose went somewhat numb and moderate numbness and weakness in my whole right leg, numb in my whole saddle and inner thighs and genitals, just like the very first time I experienced symptoms last year just not as bad. By morning it 90% resolved and had continued to improve throughout the day, I had a very similar experience a few weeks into the last reduction and it also resolved very quickly.

My sex drive had improved a lot but still inconsistent, erections are mostly great but occasionally still iffy. My biggest complaint is the gradual onset of PE which happens more often than not and is very frustrating and upsetting. When aroused I feel extremely hyersexual at times and feel like anything can set off a load, I am def not complaining about feeling like that but the PE spoils it. I think this will go away once I stop the Rexulti because I had the same thing last year when the dosage was low but resolved after several weeks Rexulti free, not sure about the moclobemide though but I feel like it had been interfering with my recovery the whole time. I couldn't believe how my soft glans syndrome magically disappeared soon as I reduced it and so far still holding better than all year even if it's still not fully erect at times. The min firmness at flaccid state is a massive improvement and the glans finally looks to have the correct texture and colour in almost a year. This can only get better I think as I continue to reduce. The bad mood on some days is the most debilitating part atm. I hope they go away but not surprised as I have been on the moclobemide for over 6 years but in terms of physical withdrawals it's pretty much nothing compared to the Rexulti.
6-Eggs!
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Re: PSSD like experiance (PAPSD?) and FND.

Unread post by 6-Eggs! »

The moclobemide withdrawals kicked in full swing after a week and holy smokes! were they bad!

Good thing is after bit over 2 weeks they have mostly gone and my good days are awesome! The moclobemide was the key to the soft glans syndrome and erection sequence and quality. Still in rapid waves but damn it's great to finally know I a have seen relief of all my symptoms at least multiple times recently (albeit in waves). Even my tinnitus went completely a number of times, sometimes it's really bad but it does go away often now and quite quick.

So I am waiting many weeks to make sure it settles and then I am changing strategy to wean off the moclobemide as the withdrawals were horrific. 10% reduction of the current dose each month and always 10% of the dose I am taking so to do a full halving will take 6 months. I could try even 15% to gauge how I react, even then it's still a lot less harsh compared to 50% in one go.

I am also working my normal contracted days at work and going well there, Yay!

Only thing that is really annoying is the PE is still there but I feel sexually excited like I would come quick anyway, not really like PE without feeling super excited so I think this is a big factor, once I have sex once and if I get aroused again I have no issues the 2nd round and enjoy it just as much, actually more.
Also my erections stay long enough after I come I just keep going a little longer and make my GF come and she thinks the PE is pretty hot actually so I don't feel too bad even though it's annoying.

I also had the same feelings and PE for a while at the low doses last year on my first cessation attempt and it did go away once I was drug free for several weeks.
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