TalkingAnt summary/log

Post any data on Treatments and experimentation.
Jaxx
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Re: TalkingAntColony summary/log

Unread post by Jaxx »

Interesting update, thanks. Shame berberine gave you side-effects, was looking forward to see additional experiences on this supp.
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TalkingAnt
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Re: TalkingAntColony summary/log

Unread post by TalkingAnt »

I've had some good windows over the last month. A few times I have felt very sexual with a strong libido, heightened experience of pleasure, and decent ability to perform. These windows have lasted a few days each. During the windows I feel something like 80% cured.

Interestingly, some of the times during sex it has taken a while for me to orgasm. However in the recent windows I feel like I am having premature orgasms where I struggle to last more than a few min. Prior to PSSD I had good control over pelvic floor muscles, IE relaxing pelvic muscles to avoid orgasm. But I think I have forgotten how to do that, so perhaps I need to practice that to last longer. It's strange that just a few weeks ago I could have sex for hours without much difficulty, but recently I can barely last 5 min.

Altogether, it's very exciting to see myself have these feeling again. It's been 6-7 years since I have felt like this.

I feel like I'm in a lull right now, with libido, anhedonia, and sensitivity considerably worse than the windows. However I feel I could still have ok sex in the right circumstance, possibly with assistance of 25mg viagra.

My current stack has stayed mostly the same over the last month. I had to lower Vitamin D dose because it was causing sleep issues.
  • Rasagiline 0.5mg
  • L-citrulline 1.5g
  • Zinc 20mg
  • Magnesium (glycinate) 120mg
  • Vitamin D 1500 IU
  • Boron 4mg
  • B1 200mg
  • B2 200mg
  • S Boulardii probiotic
I'm not sure what is causing the windows. I suspect rasagiline is helping my dopaminergic signalling. Zinc, magnesium, vitamin D, and boron are probably increasing my sex hormones somewhat, which could be increasing my libido. My windows started while I was taking shilajit and jujube, but I haven't taken either in over a month, so it's possible one of those kick-started something in my brain. I don't think the probiotics I've been taking are helping PSSD but I suppose it is a possibility. My lifestyle has been a bit more fun lately so that could be generating a more positive mood which in turn helps PSSD. I will continue to experiment with things and figure out what is helping.
Cured | PSSD 2012-2020 | Log thread
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TalkingAnt
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Re: TalkingAntColony summary/log

Unread post by TalkingAnt »

2020 has been a strange year for me. Obviously it's been rough for the world, but for me personally, it has been pretty alright. This is mainly because I can now say I am around 80% cured of PSSD. Some symptoms linger, like difficulty getting quality sleep and reduced genital sensitivity. But I feel I can now have a mostly normal sex life and stop worrying about PSSD.

Current status of PSSD symptoms:
  • Genital numbness (70% of normal sensation)
  • Anhedonia (90% of normal)
  • Ejaculatory anhedonia (90% of normal)
  • Erectile dysfunction (90% of normal)
  • Low libido/desire (80% of normal)
  • Poor sleep quality (70% of normal)
Given the COVID situation, I haven't had any opportunity to date or have sex this year. I imagine that when I am in a relationship, I would rate many of those symptoms even better. It's a tough time to really gauge how my PSSD is doing, but nonetheless I recognize serious improvement. I will of course provide a report of my situation once I am dating and evaluate my PSSD in that context.

This is how I have felt for the last 3 months. I'm not currently taking anything for PSSD. But I do take vitamin D and B vitamins most days for general health.

These days, about half the time I feel great sexual function, and half the time it is just ok. Given I'm nearly 10 years older from when I first got PSSD, it's hard to tell what is due to aging and what is a lingering PSSD symptom. But generally I feel that my sex drive could keep up with an above average female sex drive.

I had some windows in 2019, but I wasn't sure what caused them since I took too many things at once. In 2020, I decided to focus on diet and hormones.

HCG
The first thing I tried in 2020 was HCG. I speculated that my 2019 windows were in part due to altering hormone levels. So HCG seemed like a good thing to try.

I first took 125IU 3x per week (M/W/F) for a few weeks. I did not notice much of anything until I bumped up the dose to 250IU. Then, I noticed an improvement in libido and general sexual function. I briefly tried 500IU, but around this time my left testicle began hurting. I have a minor varicocele and it seems like HCG made it a bit worse. I stopped HCG and the testicular pain went away within a few weeks, but so did the benefits. In total I was on HCG for about 2.5 months. Next, I would try TRT, and later go back on HCG for a 6 week PCT.

TRT
A few weeks after getting off HCG, I decided to try TRT as another trial altering hormones. HCG would have elevated my androgens (among other hormones) so it seemed worth a shot to see how I felt with elevating my androgens directly. Little did I know, TRT is hard to dose properly.

I began with 50mg Test Cyp, twice a week, subq (Mon morning and Thurs night). Based on my research, this is a common protocol for long term TRT patients. The first few weeks I felt improvements similar to HCG. Ideally I would have gotten blood tests every 2 weeks, but due to COVID, this was not feasible. So I was flying blind, trying to adjust dose based on feeling. I suspected my E2 was too high due to tenderness in my nipples. I began taking varying doses of Arimidex to control this.

The nipple sensitivity went away, but my mood had dramatically worsened. I felt very anxious, irritable, sweaty, and got worse sleep. My throat felt swollen and caused increased snoring. I worried about getting sleep apnea, which happens to some TRT patients. My sexual benefits faded. My stomach was not handling the injections well, leaving sore welts. So I switched to IM deltoid injections. This must have spiked my T even higher, as IM is generally thought to absorb faster than subq.

By this time, there were some days where my libido was very high, comparable to my late teenage years. But most days I just felt like shit. When I finally was able to get a blood test, my T measured in the 900s (normally 500s), free T above range, and E2 very low. I adjusted my T dose down to 40mg and lowered the Arimidex. For the next month, I felt mostly as before and quickly lost faith in TRT, at least until COVID was over and blood tests became available again.

So I decided to taper off TRT, gradually lowering my dose over a few weeks, then hopping on 250IU HCG for 6 weeks and gradually tapering off. My balls, which had shrunk on TRT, returned to normal size within a few weeks on TRT. The TRT side effects went away as well, except for the increased snoring, which I still have. In total I was on TRT for just over 3 months.

Lifestyle changes - improving cellular energy metabolism
In the weeks after ending my PCT, my PSSD returned to baseline. All benefits I experienced while on HCG and TRT faded. I had been reading a lot of Dr Peter Attia's stuff on diet, blood sugar, and energy metabolism which resonated with me. I've had pre-diabetic warning signs for years show up in blood tests, and have felt that since PSSD I've had worse tolerance for carbs. I have been eating a low-ish carb diet on and off for a few years, but I decided to take Attia's advice seriously and implement some lifestyle changes.

In a nutshell, I began testing my blood glucose after meals to ensure I avoided going over 120mg/dl. This necessitated a strict low carb diet (not quite Keto but almost). I put emphasis on two types of exercise: weight lifting to failure to drive muscle glycogen depletion, and "zone 2" cardio which drives fat oxidation. I began a 16-8 time-restricted feeding regimen (only eating between 11am-7pm). I did a few 24hr fasts. All of this would have in theory lowered and stabilized my blood sugar levels, as well as alter my cellular energy metabolism to be more efficient utilizing fat, thus providing overall more energy sources for cells. I suspected I could improve fatigue by improving my cellular energy metabolism. I also thought that this lifestyle would provide healthy changes to my gut microbiome.

I did not implement all the lifestyle changes at once, but gradually over 2 months. I started with focusing on diet in the first few weeks, which began about 2 weeks after finishing my PCT. About one month later, I noticed improvements in my PSSD. These improvements increased for another month, and have remained steady for the last month.

It's hard to tell if the improvements were due to my time with elevated hormones, the lifestyle changes, or both. If I had to guess, I'd say both.

Speculation
Various people have theorized that upregulating central nervous system androgen receptors would cure some of the sexual issues in PSSD. Studies have shown that AR can be upregulated with supraphysiological androgen levels. While bad for prostate cancer risk, this may increase brain activity regarding sexuality under normal hormone levels. There are some studies suggesting SSRIs can alter AR function, however the evidence is still scant. Given that my androgens were elevated for around 7 months, and supraphysiological for at least 3 of those months, this theory could explain my current improvement in symptoms. It is strange that for the first few weeks after the PCT, my improvements were lost, only to gradually return in the following months as I implemented lifestyle changes.

On the lifestyle changes, one must dig into cellular metabolism, diabetes, Alzheimers, and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome to see connections to PSSD. Dr Petter Attia's blog and podcast contain a wealth of information on these subjects, which I highly recommend. To summarize as best I can, I have seen similarities to PSSD and CFS, as well as indicators of poor blood glucose control in myself and other PSSD patients. These various lines of evidence hint at deficits in cellular energy metabolism, which is linked diabetes, Alzheimers, and CFS. There also may be a gut microbiome element to these diseases, that responds positively to these same lifestyle changes. There may be improvements in physical and mental energy/fatigue, as well as hormone health associated with these lifestyle changes. I believe most PSSD patients could benefit in some areas by emulating Peter Attia's lifestyle. Like PSSD science, the science of cellular metabolism and how it connects to other systems of the body is in its infancy, but there are enough links to PSSD theories that I think it is very important to study.

So, could my improvements have been solely due to elevating hormones, and it was a coincidence that my improvements happened as I made lifestyle changes? Yes.

Is it possible the elevated hormones caused no permanent changes, and lifestyle changes caused my improvements? Yes.

Is is possible both of them contributed to my improvements? Yes, and this is what I believe is most likely.

With all this in mind, this is now my PSSD timeline. You can read the rest of this thread for more details. It's tough to say what was due to lifestyle changes, meds/supps, or natural recovery. But I believe every part mattered.

PSSD timeline
  • 2012: got it.
  • 2013-2015: miserable and hopeless.
  • 2016: certain events changed my attitude to do hard work and fix myself.
  • 2017: first significant improvements.
  • 2018-2019: gradual significant improvements.
  • 2020: dramatic improvements, 80% back to normal
My plan going forward is to continue these lifestyle changes for the foreseeable future, perhaps the rest of my life. I have no plans to take any more medications/supplements/hormones for PSSD. I am hoping my improvements will remain into next year, where I plan to get vaccinated and start dating. I will provide another update sometime next year on how it goes.

My advice to anyone reading this wanting to emulate my trials is to start with lifestyle changes first, as it's practically free and low risk. It will take a lot of effort and discipline but it's worth a shot. Regarding HCG and/or TRT, only try that after you have given all your effort towards lifestyle changes, and also wait until COVID settles down so you can actually get blood tests frequently to avoid the hormonal rollercoaster I went through.

I am happy to answer any questions here or on the PSSD Support Discord.
Cured | PSSD 2012-2020 | Log thread
Leb89
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Re: TalkingAntColony summary/log

Unread post by Leb89 »

Thank you so much for posting this 🙏🏼
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kpavel
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Re: TalkingAnt summary/log

Unread post by kpavel »

Yes, very calming.
Naczoz
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Re: TalkingAnt summary/log

Unread post by Naczoz »

How about your refractory period? Can you describe changes in that matter?
naiverat
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Re: TalkingAnt summary/log

Unread post by naiverat »

Awesome, Ant. Glad you’re doing so well now. 10 years is a hell of a battle.

“It is strange that for the first few weeks after the PCT, my improvements were lost, only to gradually return in the following months as I implemented lifestyle changes.”

I assume this post is comprehensive, so you didn’t take any SERMs for your PCT — just HCG. After steroid hormone cycles, it typically takes the body a while to start producing normal levels of androgens again, even if you do PCT properly. From what I’ve read, leydig cells become desensitized both from extremely high levels of LH (as when people blast HCG) and when people are in extremely low-LH states (as when on “cycle”). Even though you took only 100mg a week, the HPTA shutdown is the same regardless. It’s possible your body just took a few months to return to normalcy with respect to androgen production.

You seem to read a lot, and I’m sure you know some (or al) of this, but I thought I’d throw it out there for other readers of this post.

I don’t want to dismiss the benefit of diet and lifestyle changes. They are the pillars of your health, and without these in place, chances of recovery seem significantly less likely. It is evident from reading many recovery cases that the path to health is mostly commonly not strictly found with drugs; it is more often found with time, nutrition, exercise, and sleep. Sometimes drugs, supplements, and hormones appear to “nudge” the body in the correct direction, so to speak, but they don’t always do the heavy lifting as many assume.

I’ve had PSSD a long time - not as long as Ant - but still about half a decade, and if I had to distill my advice down to a few bullet points, it would be something like the following:

1) If you are in the early stages of PSSD (especially under a year), do not panic. **No matter how bad you feel, Do not take more drugs. Do not take any supplements.** I wish someone had given me this advice.

2) live an extremely healthy lifestyle. Sleep, exercise (if possible), and diet are huge. It’s easy to drink or drug yourself stupid when you’re anhedonic and impotent. You will only compound the situation.

3) Distract yourself as much as possible, with whatever you can find any enjoyment in. The anhedonia is brutal, and I still am not close to normal in this department. This is what drives people toward dangerous “quick cures” and or drug/substance abuse.

4) Get out of the past. Stop blaming yourself. Stop blaming the psychiatrist. It’s all water under the bridge. It fucking sucks, but you need to accept your current state and keep hope alive that you will get better in time. This is key for staying sane. Regret is insanely poisonous.

5) Be wary with drugs and supplements. Advice is thrown around here, on discord, and the Reddit sub regarding what to take / not take an an attempt to alleviate this condition. The fact of the matter is nearly every drug under the sun has been trialed at this point. There likely is no universal quick cure. Don’t fall victim to other people’s suggestions. Do your own research. It is quite unlikely a drug will cure you. If you aren’t careful, there’s a high chance of making yourself worse (especially in early stage PSSD). I would save the drug and supplement trials until you’re pretty deep into the condition, have not seen any improvements, and have optimized your lifestyle as much as possible.

Hopefully I didn’t hijack your thread. At some point, I think we should create a FAQ section and a general “guide” on how to approach this condition.
Fluoxetine Jan. '16 - Aug. 16'. Low libido, weak erections, CNS dysfunction, anhedonia

Windows on the following: Inositol, choline, NAC + Histidine, MSM, SJW, L-Arginine, Sildenafil, Naltrexone, boron
climb
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Re: TalkingAnt summary/log

Unread post by climb »

Very Happy to hear of your improvements, mate.
Thanks for taking the time to let us know.
There seem to have been a number of PFS sufferers who had big improvements with HCG.
Am I right in thinking that this has also resulted in crashes for some people with PSSD? I've not seen this on the forum, but have heard someone mention it so presume it was on a discord server somewhere.
It seems like any potential treatment is a possible crash inducer too.
Thomas
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Re: TalkingAntColony summary/log

Unread post by Thomas »

TalkingAnt wrote: Mon Dec 21, 2020 1:06 pm My advice to anyone reading this wanting to emulate my trials is to start with lifestyle changes first, as it's practically free and low risk. It will take a lot of effort and discipline but it's worth a shot. Regarding HCG and/or TRT, only try that after you have given all your effort towards lifestyle changes, and also wait until COVID settles down so you can actually get blood tests frequently to avoid the hormonal rollercoaster I went through.
1) Very good post, thanks
2) Good advice. I had my first (one-month) window of improvement after doing... exactly what you said about lifestyle changes. After two months of lowcarb diet + cardio + HIIT, I was feeling 50% cured (which is clearly enough to be happy). Then, as I felt better, I became less strict... and most of improvements went away. But like you I did several things so I cannot be sure if this is the cause. My other good explaination would be my taking hydroxyzine (window started after a few days of hydroxyzine... but it didn't last although I still was taking it)
Escitalopram, 10mg/day, Jan-May 2019. Fluoxetine, May-Sept 2019. Mirtazapine 7,5mg/day, November 2019-January 2020. Escitalopram, 5mg/day, Feb-May 2020.
Symptoms: sexual & emotional numbness
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Delfador
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Re: TalkingAnt summary/log

Unread post by Delfador »

Great post, thank you ant
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