Victorpl intro

[victorpl]

Hi,

I am totally messed up. It all started with mild nervous breakdown on February 2019. I didn't know what is happening to me and assumed that my symptoms are caused by Alpha Gpc (read somewhere that it can induce depressive like state). I was looking for remedy and found information that such state can be reversed by anticholinergic agenta. I went to pharmacy and bought a package of anti-allergic pills (chlorphenamine). I took it for two days and on day's two night I woke up in very concerning state. I thought that my brain was dying, I couldn't create any word in my brain. I was shaking, felt extreme fear and terror and had to drink large amount of water. I didn't know what happened, I ended completely derealised and restless. I couldn't sleep this night and another and thought that I went crazy. I went to psychiatrist and he prescribed fluoxetine. I didn't know what it does and what are side effects. I was told that it starts working after 3 weeks, so I didn't notice that what happened with me next is because of this drug. My heart rate was 150/110 and when in panic 220/130, I couldn't sleep, if I managed to fall asleep for a while I woke up confused in total terror, I was shaky, sometimes felt incredibly strong drug-induced fear. I quitted drug after 11 days. In next weeks I was totally derealised, in fear, depressed, I felt terror 24/7. After 8 weeks I went to see my psychiatrist again, cause I thought that maybe it is Just my anxiety and I could take some other drug to help me with it. I got prescription for paroxetine this time. That was the biggest mistake of my life. I took it for 9 days. After few days my severe severe anxiety was totally gone. I thought that was good, that is how the drug is supposed to work. After day 7 I started to have acute side effects like burning skin, flu like symptoms, suicidal thoughts. I stopped it on day 9. I was sure that it will pass in few weeks at most. I was wrong. It has been 24 days since I stopped and nothing really changed. I got tinnitus, pssd, twitchy muscles, complete anhedonia, trouble breathing, I am literally walking dead.

What the hell happened to me? Will I ever recover from it? Am I the worst case on planet?

[Pssdornot]

Calm down. I felt that way. You're in shock. Try to find someone who's gonna be with you and try to sleep, eat well and relax your brain. It's been only 24 days, so, there is hope. The most important thing is not to panic.

[victorpl]

Thank you for your reply. I am trying to calm down every day, but it is really hard when you are literally a wrecked meat. I know that it is not much time, but I just can feel that damage is really big as I had severe anxiety and now I feel like there is just serotonine in my brain and body. I have to focus on breathing to breathe and when I focus on sensations from certain body part, I dont feel anything and this part starts to twitch. It looks like real damage of cns, I just hope it somehow get better, but dont think it will be soon. I dont know how to cope with that. Sorry for dramatising, but I am not able to behave in different way. Did your state was such acute too?

[nasibi]

Sorry to hear about your situation. Do you respond to drugs? Like do you get drunk or high?

[victorpl]

Sorry to hear about your situation. Do you respond to drugs? Like do you get drunk or high?

I am sober addict (drugs and alcohol), I can't do it, but to be honest, I am sure I would not respond to it. When I took SSRIs I didn't feel any pleasurable feeling, just like my head was stuffed, like my brain and body was being attacked by chemicals. I suspect that my previous drug use and long abstinence made me unable to make my brain high and caused adverse reactions to these drugs.

[nasibi]

I asked because some of us do not respond to drugs anymore. Also wanted to know you if you would take benzos for anxiety? If not, Etifoxine might be a good choice.

[victorpl]

I take benzo for sleep since I took first AD and developed severe anxiety. Now I take it, because I am afraid of withdrawal symptoms, but I do not have anxiety. I do not feel anything right now, just feel serotonine soup in my brain.

[victorpl]

1- What is your gender?

Male- 28

2- Why did you take antidepressants in the first place? and for how long were you on them? which med?

Chlorpheniamine - 2 days
Fluoxetine - 11 days
Paroxetine - 9 days

Anxiety/ nervous breakdown

3- How was your sexual and emotional function before antidepressant intake?

Hypersexual, over emotional

4- What are your symptoms exactly and when did they start? sexual dyfunction alone, or cognitive/emotional/hedonistic as well? which symptom is bothering you the most?

Unfortunately I got more symptoms after every adverse reaction to meds I listed. I didn't have idea and didn't even believe that something like that can happen.

Symptoms after chlorpheniamine:

- Severe panic/anxiety
- Severe insomnia
- Emotional numbness
- Inability to rest
- Super high blood pressure/ bp

Symptoms after fluoxetine:
- Even more severe anxiety/ panic
- Night walking with panic
- Depression
- Derealisation
- Intrusive thoughts

Symptoms after paroxetine:

- Complete emotional ansethesia
- Loose of personality
- Severe cognitive impairment
- Inability to do things concurrently
- Premature ejaculation
- No libido
- Trouble breathing
- Low blood pressure/bp
- Weak heart beat
- Numbed feelings from body
- Can't feel parts of my body well when I focus my attenion on them
- Tinnitus

5- What meds/suppplements have you tried so far?

Omega 3, magnesium, b complex, multivitamine

6- Do you have access to meds without prescription (buy online), or would strictly require a prescription for meds to try?

Don't have access but certainly could get prescription

7- Can you tolerate galicky foods? what about proteins?

Both, don't have GI issues

8- Have you done any blood testing? what were the results?

Going tommorow, will show them then. It would be nice if you could shed some light on what examinations I could do more.

I would really appreciate some info what the hell happened to me, especially after chlorphenamine and paroxetine. I feel like I am really messed and my brain is fried. Don't know if there is a chance to recover. If I could do some more tests to help diagnosing I am up to do it.

[Meso]

Your main problem seem to be GABA/glutamate imbalance triggered by short exposure to serotonergics. Paroxetine also altered your sympathetic-parasympathetic response. Let's wait for the tests to see if there's a hormonal involvement.

[victorpl]

Thank you very much for response. I really appreciate it. Could you tell me which hormones exactly should I have tested? For now I don't have hormonal tests, but if you would answer me today, I could do them with other tests tommorow.