I can´t fall in love. Vent out

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silverstar
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Re: I can´t fall in love. Vent out

Unread post by silverstar »

I think this is the saddest disease in the world. None of us know what it is or how it can be fixed. One day I was fine. The next morning I woke up completely numb. It didn't happen slow...or I was depressed and gradually losing my interests in things. I never had anhedonia or issues feeling deep love and compassion.

Literally....yes literally over night I woke up with.completely numb genitals, inability to get arousal, libido or feel love...

Overnight?

Can depression make your genitals and total sexual system numb overnight?


My parents will probably read this one day. I have tried everything I can. Sorry.
iull1k
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Re: I can´t fall in love. Vent out

Unread post by iull1k »

silverstar wrote:I think this is the saddest disease in the world. None of us know what it is or how it can be fixed. One day I was fine. The best norning I woke up completely numb. It didn't happen slow...or I was depressed and gradually losing my interests in things. I never had anhedonia or issues feeling deep love and compassion.

Literally....yes literally over night I woke up with.completely numb genitals, inability to get arousal, libido or feel love...

Overnight?

Can depression make your genitals and total sexual system numb overnight?


My parents will probably read this one day. I have tried everything I can. Sorry.
No, depression can't numb your genitals. If you loose sexuality because of depression you can miss some sensations but don't feel numb genitals. My skin on genital area feels like i have anesthesia. It's not depression, it's SSRI. I understand you, your story is the same like mine.
escitalopramsucks
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Re: I can´t fall in love. Vent out

Unread post by escitalopramsucks »

Its out of the topic discuss about if pssd is due to dedepressuon. Maybe there are people who thinks they have pssd and just have depression its not mycase.

I openedvthis thread tobask if you know someone who has recovered the capacity to fall in love not to be judged by people who hasn't read enough about pssd to see that pssd not only can affect your penis but you r feelings and romantic view of life.

I think the purpose of the person who writes each topic should be more respected.

Please read HelenFisher and her articles of how pssd affect romantic life's and capacity to have interest in having a couple. Its more productive than just judging me and say I am depressed.

Fist year after quitting I wasn't depre I wasn't anxious and I couldn't fall in love or have the butterflies
. this is a authentic proof that this is not duevto depression. Thank you
escitalopramsucks
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Re: I can´t fall in love. Vent out

Unread post by escitalopramsucks »

29 July 2016 Updating:



I had to break with my boyfriend because the strong arguments and pain that adds to my life had no solution after talking for ages and it caused deeper depression to me...



As I have explained before I can not feel attracted by post PSSD guys( guys I meet after pssd) and out of the blue it happened again like last year at the beach... I went with my best friend (I met him long years before PSSD) there and I became lustful. I took the opportunity and even I could´t feel sexually everything like before PSSD it was great because I WANTED to have sex. I had the need.



After we have started a relationship with him and I feel good in it.



Some days I feel horrible because as usual I can not feel the outbursts of emotion that I should feel and the fear visits me causing me anxiety... but curiously, this week has been amazing:



I started to enjoy the summer not thinking too much in PSSD and just relaxing with him at night talking like the old friends we are... at the same time i started to be involved in a creative project that makes me feel cool while designing etc keeping my thoughts away from PSSD... and not only libido came back again...but the sensation of romaticism and love deep in my soul... I was even very nervous because I used to be very easy to feel like that and suddenly It bit me aout of the blue.



First time in 2 years I could feel love again and feel vulnerable and overaffectionate for someone.... I could see him attractive and desiderable, not like a sister when look at her brother and thinks he is gorgeous. I made love with a conexion I havent had in 2 years.

It has been the best days in two years and this has alleviate my depression. I have more hope.


updating 7 August 2016

Here it is again: My libido, will for intimacy and conexion with him has vanished.

At the same time my attraction for life, hobbies and beauty of a beach a landscape and music has dissapeared too.

In these weeks I was able again to feel enthusiasm for the things I used to have in the past... I felt MYSELF again, now I´m another me
I´m gonna try to be positive although I have the anguish deep in my stomach hurting again.



This is absolutely misery.... Can I think I had a window?
escitalopramsucks
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Re: I can´t fall in love. Vent out

Unread post by escitalopramsucks »

Now I´m sure romanticism and affection has much to do with SEX

It feels very uncomplete to be with someone if your libido dont work as the emotions and the sexual function are all the same someway.

I want to recover, I would give years of life just to be the person I was once.
silverstar
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Re: I can´t fall in love. Vent out

Unread post by silverstar »

I had the best sex ever with my current partner. Totally in love. In fact I went against my mother to be with him.
It was 1 glorious year. Now I have pssd I can't feel love I have 100% numb genitals inside and out
My relationship is over...we still love one another...somewhere...but partners without any romance or sexuality are just friends....let's face it

Things are crumbling. I feel like a castrated, sexless robot-women it's disgusting

I've thought about this a lot. I can't live without love. It's simple.
silverstar
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Re: I can´t fall in love. Vent out

Unread post by silverstar »

I just wanted to add the title of this post is can't fall in love
I was in complete love ..the strongest love I've ever felt with anyone
Now it's literally gone. Over night. We still luve together he is hanging on hoping I'll heal even if I don't he'll be there
But what the fuck sort of life is this? He's like a roommate now. Not a lover. Not my partner. My romantic feelings are burnt out
Like someone took that entire side of my brain and lobotomized it. I can sort of feel something if my brain goes searching for that side of the data base but the folders have been deleted. Once my brain quickly notices there are no files there it goes info panic mode. There must be a virus? What's wrong here? The loop continues. See the analogy?
Better yet...it was it's own OS and it's corrupt and can't boot but I can safe mode into other parts of my brain .
I mean thesw are crude ways of describing this but my sexual files have been deleted and that partition can't be accessed!
sulawesi
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Re: I can´t fall in love. Vent out

Unread post by sulawesi »

I have exactly the same problem. And I feel very sorry for you, because I know what it feels like. I can't feel love anymore either. I was so much in love with my ex-girlfriend. It was a very intense and intimate relationship, everything was perfect. The sex was amazing and very frequent and we had such a strong emotional connection. She was all I could think about. Eventhough I was very depressive at that time that didn't take us apart from each other. Nothing could have taken us apart exept those fucking criminal SSRI that destroyed my ability to love and finally my entire life. Now I'm in a relationship again, but sadly it's more like a good friendship for my part. It's too hard to live like this. More than anything in the world I hope we can someday find some way to become how we were before.
Bunny
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Re: I can´t fall in love. Vent out

Unread post by Bunny »

I feel so sorry for anyone who has to go through this. No one deserves to have an established, loving relationship irrevocably harmed by a drug that was supposed to "help" the hurting party. I would not wish this on anyone.

I love my SO more than life itself -- but I need to feel it in my heart, not just know it in my head. SSRI's have destroyed my heart.
Female
Various SSRI's for OCD 2001-2003; no sexual SE's
300mg Zoloft 2003-2007; no sexual SE's (tapered off Mar. 2007)
200mg sertraline 2008-2009; immediate sexual SE's (began Nov. 2008, CT'd early 2009 and developed PSSD)
PSSD 2009-2018
STILL CURED
silverstar
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Re: I can´t fall in love. Vent out

Unread post by silverstar »

I'm not even going to pretend to be positive. This ruined my life. I had higher hopes ...I apparently now wasted 60 k on a masters degree. I am completely numb. I don't feel like this is going to end well.

I am also living at home back at age 35 I have turned into a total emotional basket case for the past 8 months I just don't see how this is going to turn around I have no ability to work or do anything I just cry all day long I don't know this is how other people react to this or if I'm just guessing or too sensitive or something but this totally ruining my existence I used to do yoga everyday and I was well I thought I was to order of a smart kind of person I did a master's degree I almost had a 4.0 I really enjoyed science and college and I did Art and all this stuff and it's been eight or nine months and I've literally done nothing I tried to push myself and really nothing happens I have no desire in my life to do anything other than cry literally I'm just sad all the time the only relief I get is if I somehow have a beer or something which is very rare because I don't like to drink and then I just basically complain but no one wants to listen to me anymore so I don't even complain anymore so I guess this article or this thread was called a vent out so here I am I'm totally venting out I feel like completely hopeless and devastated and I just really don't see the light at the end of the tunnel right now thanks for reading sorry about the wall of text I'm talking into my phone because I'm too depressed to type
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