My own Hell

[effexorhell]

Hello all, I just discovered this site yesterday and thought I'd join. American, 44 white male.

My story begins about 20 years ago. I had a nervous breakdown when I was 26 and I went on Prozac. It didn't work at first, so my doctor kept upping it to eventually 40 MG. At that point it kicked in. I felt great, my anxiety and depression were lifted. Everything felt great, sex, the taste of food, my life was back on track. A couple years later I went off the prozac because I could not afford it and everything went okay. When I was 39 I had another breakdown. I went on Haldol, zoloft and benztropine(to counter the negative effects of haldol). The voices in my head went away, but it was a nightmare, I was restless and depressed. I couldn't sit still. Three months later I moved and got a new shrink and he put me on celexa and klonopin. Things got better after that but I was still depressed and did nothing(I came into an inheritance after my parents died within a year of each other so work was not an issue). About a year later I had a terrible series of breakdowns, three, in which I thought I was a super being and was chosen by God to be the chosen one. I ended up in jail for three months and on probation for two years after that. I moved into a group home after that and still had problems, but my sex drive was still okay. Then I moved into my own apartment and got a new shrink. Things weren't going well on the haldol anymore. I was having terrible anxiety, memory loss, confusion and could not sleep and noticed that I lost all interest in sex and when I masterbated I could not orgasm for the most part and when I did, it felt like nothing. I ended up hospitalized in July of 2015 twice. The first time I went to buy a soda down the street of the doctors office before my appointment and ended up getting lost. I wandered around for miles before I found his office. Then my phone navigator would not work, so I ended up driving around lost. I saw a beat cop and asked for directions, he didn't know where I was going. I fell down from heat exhaustion and he called an ambulance. I spent two days in the hospital and was discharged. Three weeks later I collapsed and could not get up. I went into the hospital for five days and was discharged. I was taking too much klonopin to deal with the state I was in so my doctor took me off klonopin and urged me to go into the psyche ward of the local hospital where he could change my meds and observe me. I refused, but about a week or so out of the hospital I called my brother and sister in law(who did a lot for me during all of this) and said I was ready to go into the hospital because I could not stand it anymore. My doctor lowered the haldol, which did little so he put me on perphenazine and effexor. I no longer had terrible anxiety or depression, but what I realize now is that I am like I am now(June 2016) that I have anhedonia. I was discharged after ten days and went back home. About five/seven days later I lost my sense of taste. I also could no longer get an erection. Oh well I thought, it was a trade off and I wouldn't be on them forever, I would just go off them and return to normal. Around Christmas 2015 I decided to quit cold turkey. I could only sleep 5/6 hours a night and had terrible dreams so after 13 days off, I went back on them. I noticed when I was off them that I could not get an erection and would ejaculate with very, very little sensation. Over the past months, I tried going off and on the meds, but could not stand the withdrawal. Finally I decided to make a supreme effort to quit them, and after two weeks I had the same sexual problems of no erection and ejaculating with no sensation. Also, the perphenazine was torturing me. I could not sit still and was constantly going on out the porch to smoke to do something. It was horrible. I talked to my brother and sister in law about this and said my doctor took me off my pills and I had these problems. My sis in law called the doctor and he told them I went off my pills when I saw him last and I need to go back on them. My doctor said nothing is permanent when I visited him that time. My sis in law and brother came to visit me to stage an intervention and demanded I go back on the pills, which I did. They both took me to the doctors office the next visit and he let me go off the effexor, I was on 225 mg and he said take one 75 mg for a week, then take a 75 mg every other day and in two weeks things would return to normal. and he said the same thing, nothing is permanent. After three days I could not stand the perphenazine anymore so I stopped taking them, but kept telling my family that I was on them. Now been two months off both pills. I have the same sexual problems of not getting an erection and ejaculating with no sensation. I have anhedonia, I don't care about anything, and my sense of taste never came back fully and I have no appetite. Now it has been fifteen days since I have had a bowel movement and I am going to see a doctor about this. I had constipation before, but this feels different, like my brain isn't sending messages to my intestines. I have terrible sleep problems. I go to sleep for four hours, have weird dreams, wake up, lay in bed for an hour or two in a semi haze, go back to sleep for an hour or so with weird dreams, then wake up and sometimes go back to sleep for another hour or two with dreams. I don't know who I am anymore. Sometimes I feel there is activity in my brain, I get these weird sensations in my head. I can't live like this.

[jaiho]

You need to get back on meds.
Ask about the SSRI + Nortriptyline combination.
I had the exact symptoms as you. Zero orgasm pleasure, difficult to get an erection. When i got the right meds, I had no side effects and orgasm was explosively powerful again.
Effexor is a nasty drug, but works for some.

I know this forum is anti SSRI, but i think people have underlying depression or other issues when they have PSSD. For me, i have a positive outlook and great mood, but a cloud over my conciousness. I still need meds.

[GIXXER]

Im on the same page as you. Effexor is what did me in. I was on 150mg for about 6-8 months, I quit within in 10-14 days, and that was 10 years ago.

A few questions for you

1. Did you have a sex drive when on Effexor?

2. When you quit effexor you quit cold turkey correct?

[GIXXER]

You need to get back on meds.
Ask about the SSRI + Nortriptyline combination.
I had the exact symptoms as you. Zero orgasm pleasure, difficult to get an erection. When i got the right meds, I had no side effects and orgasm was explosively powerful again.
Effexor is a nasty drug, but works for some.

I know this forum is anti SSRI, but i think people have underlying depression or other issues when they have PSSD. For me, i have a positive outlook and great mood, but a cloud over my conciousness. I still need meds.

With this SSRI + Nortriptyline combination you mentioned are you suggesting that you have a sex drive, and can have enjoyable sex?

[effexorhell]

Im on the same page as you. Effexor is what did me in. I was on 150mg for about 6-8 months, I quit within in 10-14 days, and that was 10 years ago.

A few questions for you

1. Did you have a sex drive when on Effexor?

2. When you quit effexor you quit cold turkey correct?

Damn, 10 years. I'm so sorry. I had no sex drive on effexor, but I was also on perphenazine which can also cause impotence. And I quit cold turkey.

what are your symptoms if I may ask?

[jaiho]

You need to get back on meds.
Ask about the SSRI + Nortriptyline combination.
I had the exact symptoms as you. Zero orgasm pleasure, difficult to get an erection. When i got the right meds, I had no side effects and orgasm was explosively powerful again.
Effexor is a nasty drug, but works for some.

I know this forum is anti SSRI, but i think people have underlying depression or other issues when they have PSSD. For me, i have a positive outlook and great mood, but a cloud over my conciousness. I still need meds.

With this SSRI + Nortriptyline combination you mentioned are you suggesting that you have a sex drive, and can have enjoyable sex?

absolutely. Ive posted about the combo a few times. People who have DP/DR, Anhedonia, treatment resistant depression use this combination.
Dr Gillman is renowned psychiatrist, an expert in treating depression. He put me onto it and it's the only thing that brings pleasure back overall.
Nortriptyline seems to block sexual side effects of SSRIs, and boosts the AD effect.

[GIXXER]

This is insane. I think this forum more and more goes down the tubes because of the activities from sonnys stalker

What are you talking about?

[GIXXER]

Damn, 10 years. I'm so sorry. I had no sex drive on effexor, but I was also on perphenazine which can also cause impotence. And I quit cold turkey.

what are your symptoms if I may ask?

What symptoms do I have now? Im basically Asexual. No lido, no erections, no desire for sex, cuddling, making out. If I use an erection pill, achieve an erection, and have sex I get no enjoyment from it.

[prima]

Jaiho: where is Dr Gillman located? What's his contract info? Thank you.

[effexorhell]

Damn, 10 years. I'm so sorry. I had no sex drive on effexor, but I was also on perphenazine which can also cause impotence. And I quit cold turkey.

what are your symptoms if I may ask?

What symptoms do I have now? Im basically Asexual. No lido, no erections, no desire for sex, cuddling, making out. If I use an erection pill, achieve an erection, and have sex I get no enjoyment from it.

How old are you. I have no emotions, but I still feel bad for guys in their teens, twenties and thirties who have this. At least I had it happen when I was 44.