Ghost Intro

[Ghost]

Another few years have flown by since my last thread update.

It's been over 10 years since I developed PSSD.

I'm in my final year of medical school. I'm still passionate about the brain, mental health, and understanding how to improve the suffering of the human condition.

I don't really think that a "cure" will be in the cards for me at this point but of course I will never give up tinkering with things. I do think that many people may naturally recover, so please do not read this as doom and gloom and appreciate that there is an enormous sampling bias on the forum. Sufferers who have long-term cases of PSSD are also the ones who stick around and keep posting. Also, my life at this point really isn't that bad. The trauma of losing a chunk of my sexuality at age 18 might never fully resolve, but with time I hope that the pain of it all will continue to fade. There is hope in that for anyone. Look back at my old posts if you don't think that I struggled profoundly for a long time, I did. I also still suffer from on and off bouts of minor depression, anxiety, insomnia, and OCD. I continue to try to improve my mental and physical health.

My current sexual function is decent. I have sex with my partner maybe 3 times a week on a average and I can't think of the last time I wasn't able to get a satisfactory erection. It's never the same as it was pre-SSRI, but to be fair then I was 18 and now I'm almost 30. Not sure what it would look like if I had never taken Lexapro. I really can't remember at this point and none of my friends have a sex drive of a teenager anymore either. It still takes me a longer to get an erection than before SSRI and sensation has never really recovered. Something still isn't "right".

I do think that some things I've done over the past few years have helped.

1) Red light therapy for blood flow (on and off I've discussed this in previous posts).
2) Shock wave therapy on penis - I bought my own unit and did a round of treatment 1-1.5 years ago. I think this maybe helped erections by 10-15% permanently
3) Kegals for pelvic floor muscle strength. I've tried to do this every day or 2 for maybe 1.5 years. I think it helps with erection firmness. I don't really know at this point becuase I haven't ever stopped doing it fully and it's around the time of the shock wave treatment.

A goal of mine over the next year or so is to re-image my dick with an ultrasound scan. I had evidence of fibrosis in 2018 with Dr. Goldstein. I wonder if the above helped with that or if I can find a more objective way to measure blood flow before/after I do another round of Shock wave therapy (probably want to also do that within the next year).

With love - Ghost

[Kael]

You are in final med year. you are our last and only hope. Sure we will all gather donation and funding for you.

[arahant]

... Something still isn't "right".

You mentioned you also suffered from OCD...
Did you have a chance to study "Just Right" sensations through psychiatry rotation in med school?,
This is the feeling of "incompleteness" or that something is "slightly off," leading to repetitive behaviors to achieve a sense of "perfection."

Thanks for reporting back, Ghost. Congratulations on going through med school.

[Kael]

Ghost is our last hope. We must help him and donate him. God please protect and help him.

[TalkingAnt]

Good to hear from you Ghost. Props for almost completing med school with PSSD!

Interesting that you are doing red light therapy. I have tried that a bit for injury healing and dry eyes, with some benefits. My understanding is the mechanism involves stimulating mitochondria which can absorb the red light for ATP production. So you are giving cells more energy for protein production, healing, etc. However it only works for the first few mm of cells due to light not penetrating further. Some laser units claim to enhance penetration depth. But I have just used a panel that provides a flat plane of light to apply to an area.

For injuries, I place the site 6-12 inches from the panel, so the light has room to spread out. Otherwise there will be spots between the LEDs that dont get light. Subjectively I notice perhaps 20% faster healing. Note it only works for muscle or connective tissue injuries within the first few mm of the surface.

For dry eyes, I sit 5-10ft away from the panel with my eyes closed, because it's too bright otherwise and in studies they use low power LEDs close to the eyes. I aim for the brightness to be similar to facing the sun with eyes closed. I notice my eyes feel better on days I do this. Theorize that the ocular surface cells have more energy for collagen synthesis and/or the tear glands for tear production.

I wonder if red light therapy could improve penile sensitivity, since the light could reach nerve endings near the skin.