My PSSD Story

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donoharmbeniceyo
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My PSSD Story

Unread post by donoharmbeniceyo »

Hi,

Looking to add my story to the record and hopefully corroborate the stories of others who have developed PSSD. I will try to remain as concise as possible.

First started taking antidepressants in high school prescribed off label for back pain. Took Cymbalta for a couple of weeks. Also tried Nortriptyline for a couple weeks. No noticeable pain relief. Sexually things were awful on the drugs. Difficulty w/erection and reduced sexual pleasure during masturbation. Stopped taking these drugs and assumed everything would go back to normal. Things definitely improved once I stopped. But did I go back to my baseline level of functioning prior to have ever taken drugs? Not sure.

Eventually embarrassed myself with an attractive girl a couple of times. Difficulty with erection. In my sexual prime no less. Brushed it off as nerves. But a paranoid part of me remembered how sexually horrible things were for me while on antidepressants. Was there some sort of permanent effect? I was unaware of PSSD at this time.

Make it to college. No sexual relations. Still traumatized from past embarrassment. Isolate and drank alcohol (unaddressed pain issues). Graduate college. Eventually end up in a psych ward. Culmination of life stress, pain, and paranoias. Primary issue was pain. Was given "mood stabilizers" which are otherwise known as antipsychotics for treating psychosis and schizophrenia. I did not know this at the time and was not properly informed about the drug, what it treats, and its side effects. I simply trusted the doctors. The antipsychotic I took was Zyprexa. It gave me anorgasmia and blunted all sexual pleasure/functioning. Eventually stopped taking this drug after leaving the psych ward because I learned it could cause brain damage?! End up developing anhedonia ("It's all my fault because I stopped the drug!" Riiighht). Worst form of torture imaginable. No pleasure from anything. Food. Sexually. No motivation at all. Could not even cry even though immensely sad. Lasted for weeks and if it did not go away I would have killed myself. Absolute hell. Felt like psychiatry did this to me on purpose and was punishing me for being "deviant." After all, I am a reclusive raging alcoholic with an eating disorder that does not have normal social relationships or even social media. Surely that makes me a freak worthy of punishment.

Eventually end up getting attacked by a psychotronic weapon that took over my mind at my apartment complex. I was on my phone and someone made me yell into my phone against my will. I said something along the lines of "I am a bad person... yada yada yada." I also ended up getting very confused. This was an induced psychosis. I end up running around my apartment complex yelling about COVID vaccines, mind control, and acting crazy. Surely I was about to head back to the psych ward. What were they going to do to me this time? Were they going to help me or just lie to me and torture me again? Sure enough for my outlandish behavior I was sentenced to a 3 month commitment where I had to forcibly take antipsychotics. At first I tried Abilify and could not ejaculate so I then tried Invega. Both drugs ruined all sexual functioning. After the 3 months were up I stopped the drug but my sexual dysfunction remained. Now beyond a reasonable doubt I had PSSD (which were ironically from antipsychotics, not completely unheard of, however). Iatrogenic PSSD because I was given drugs against my will! Chemical castration basically.

Interestingly enough, during this second hospitalization some sort of mind control technology was activated within my body (or at least made apparent to me). Some sort of brain computer interface, radio/electromagnetic, EEG/brainwave neural monitoring technology, possibly nanotech laced into my nervous system/brain chip. I can now get zapped according to my thoughts (speech/thought monitoring). In specific locations. Like a voodoo doll. Locations like my fingers. Typically middle finger ("screw you"), thumbs ("good job"), knuckles, feet/metatarsals/toes, R/L eyes. Scalp. Anus. Even scrotum or testicles (very rarely). Zaps that are repetitive, painful, and annoying. Varied intensity/frequency. These are not brain zaps. It changes based on what I think. Is it because I had a bad thought? Possibly. Or it could just be someone zapping me because they feel like it. My brain is basically a receiver that someone can send remote signals to at any waking moment. There is no privacy. It is anonymous and degrading. It is bullying. Unlike bullying, however, you can't fight back and make it stop. People will likely not believe you and brush it off as mental illness. None of this occurred until AFTER I was hospitalized in a psych ward. I am now technically considered "schizophrenic" and am on a commitment where I am forced to take more "medication"/antipsychotics against my will. These drugs have only harmed me and do not change these thoughts. These are not delusions. They are facts. I am a targeted individual, otherwise known as a TI. These are civilians targeted by psychiatry/outside parties for a myriad of reasons. My dreams can also be controlled/constructed. Pleasure or pain can be uploaded to my mind in my sleep. So can music/images/peoples' voices.

Not only am I given PSSD from antipsychotics but my own mind and sense of privacy are stolen from me. It as if psychiatry is basically saying we stole your erection from you and you deserve this. I was never warned of PSSD or horrid sexual dysfunction when I was prescribed antidepressants. It was honestly a shock such sexually corruptive drugs could have been legalized in the first place. Yet I am the bad person because I believe that if PSSD is a thing then people are entitled to a warning. Some 10+% of the globe is taking antipsychotics/antidepressants. This issue is extremely prevalent. Yet nobody seems to care or do anything about it. Not doctors. Not the media. Nobody. It is astounding. These drugs (and therefore PSSD) have been around since the 1950s. It is basically mass eugenics disguised as help. Relationships ruined or never formed. Families that will never be. Simple biological pleasure stripped from someone for life. People likely have and will kill themselves over these issues.

Anyways, I know my story may be a bit unconventional but once we all tell our stories maybe someday we will be taken seriously. Decades from now surely we will look back in horror how all of the testimonies here were dismissed without so much as an ounce of consideration. PSSD is real. A 10 second warning could save someone from a lifetime of despair. It must be added to the list of possible side effects ASAP before more lives are ruined. This is medical deceit and negligence on a grand scale. All in the name of the pharmaceutical accrual of wealth and eugenics. There is no legal recourse for these atrocities. Doctors have and will keep their reputations untarnished by blaming their victims' misfortune on underlying "mental illness" when in reality their misfortune was afflicted upon them by prescription drugs. No amount of money can make this right. Nobody deserves this.

Thanks for reading.
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anacleta
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Re: My PSSD Story

Unread post by anacleta »

thanks for sharing.
regarding the ideas of being chosen to be remotely controlled by psychiatry, i think you know that you will find few or no one who believes it. it can be paranoia and irrational/psychotic beliefs that are either part of a personality disorder or induced by the chemical alterations caused by psychiatric drugs.
pssd alone is an almost surreal condition to deal with (traumatic, you don't get warned, doctors don't believe you, there is no cure, etc.) and i think the tremendous need to find a fucking "meaning" to the damage of the drugs and the fact that it is impossible to ignore something so serious that has happened, are leading you to focus a lot of your thinking on these theories.
I think the bitter reality is that you/we aren't so "important" that we've been singled out and controlled... we've just been hurt by the neglect of the pharmaceutical and health care system, in a way that science today doesn't understand, and then denied by doctors who don't know which way to turn.
Darman
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Re: My PSSD Story

Unread post by Darman »

I totally understand this. There IS hope because others have recovered and this is a fact. Hang in there, you are not alone.
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Ghost
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Re: My PSSD Story

Unread post by Ghost »

Welcome to our forum! Sorry to hear you are struggling.

I can assure you a bit here without trying to minimize your fears about mind control. I've spent a lot of time in the medical and research community (especially in psychiatry), and can assure you that this technology doesn't exist for brain control. The government is funding much more basic research into brain / tech interfaces, and they wouldn't be doing this if the technology was mature enough for brain control. Today's technology isn't advanced or specific enough to do this yet. If it were, you bet your ass they'd be charging your insurance for it and selling the technology on TV ads. We do live in a for-profit medical world after all.

Take care,

G
- Medical Student & Friendly poltergeist - Lexapro Sept '14. [Hx] [PSSD Lab] [r/PSSD] [Treatment Plan] - Add "Ghost" in replies so I see it :)
Integra
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Re: My PSSD Story

Unread post by Integra »

Ghost wrote: Thu Dec 08, 2022 4:13 pm Welcome to our forum! Sorry to hear you are struggling.

I can assure you a bit here without trying to minimize your fears about mind control. I've spent a lot of time in the medical and research community (especially in psychiatry), and can assure you that this technology doesn't exist for brain control. The government is funding much more basic research into brain / tech interfaces, and they wouldn't be doing this if the technology was mature enough for brain control. Today's technology isn't advanced or specific enough to do this yet. If it were, you bet your ass they'd be charging your insurance for it and selling the technology on TV ads. We do live in a for-profit medical world after all.

Take care,

G
Hi, first of all, nice to see you here again. Sorry to ask in this thread, but is your 5-ht1a theory still alive? I have a friend with medical education, and he suggests some protocol for unregulating 5-ht1a.
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Ghost
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Re: My PSSD Story

Unread post by Ghost »

Integra wrote: Thu Dec 08, 2022 5:13 pm
Ghost wrote: Thu Dec 08, 2022 4:13 pm Welcome to our forum! Sorry to hear you are struggling.

I can assure you a bit here without trying to minimize your fears about mind control. I've spent a lot of time in the medical and research community (especially in psychiatry), and can assure you that this technology doesn't exist for brain control. The government is funding much more basic research into brain / tech interfaces, and they wouldn't be doing this if the technology was mature enough for brain control. Today's technology isn't advanced or specific enough to do this yet. If it were, you bet your ass they'd be charging your insurance for it and selling the technology on TV ads. We do live in a for-profit medical world after all.

Take care,

G
Hi, first of all, nice to see you here again. Sorry to ask in this thread, but is your 5-ht1a theory still alive? I have a friend with medical education, and he suggests some protocol for unregulating 5-ht1a.
I've paused most of my PSSD research while in medical school - it's just too much information to learn as is. Once I graduate and have a basic level of medical knowledge I plan to just back into research, hopefully with more support/funding. At that point I'm hoping the medical community takes me a bit more seriously with a degree.
- Medical Student & Friendly poltergeist - Lexapro Sept '14. [Hx] [PSSD Lab] [r/PSSD] [Treatment Plan] - Add "Ghost" in replies so I see it :)
redditorx4
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Re: My PSSD Story

Unread post by redditorx4 »

Ghost wrote: Fri Jan 20, 2023 1:45 am
Integra wrote: Thu Dec 08, 2022 5:13 pm
Ghost wrote: Thu Dec 08, 2022 4:13 pm Welcome to our forum! Sorry to hear you are struggling.

I can assure you a bit here without trying to minimize your fears about mind control. I've spent a lot of time in the medical and research community (especially in psychiatry), and can assure you that this technology doesn't exist for brain control. The government is funding much more basic research into brain / tech interfaces, and they wouldn't be doing this if the technology was mature enough for brain control. Today's technology isn't advanced or specific enough to do this yet. If it were, you bet your ass they'd be charging your insurance for it and selling the technology on TV ads. We do live in a for-profit medical world after all.

Take care,

G
Hi, first of all, nice to see you here again. Sorry to ask in this thread, but is your 5-ht1a theory still alive? I have a friend with medical education, and he suggests some protocol for unregulating 5-ht1a.
I've paused most of my PSSD research while in medical school - it's just too much information to learn as is. Once I graduate and have a basic level of medical knowledge I plan to just back into research, hopefully with more support/funding. At that point I'm hoping the medical community takes me a bit more seriously with a degree.
hey ghost what do you think of an penile implant. also did your fetishes dissapear after pssd or pssd like symptoms?
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Ghost
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Re: My PSSD Story

Unread post by Ghost »

redditorx4 wrote: Fri Jan 20, 2023 2:00 am
Ghost wrote: Fri Jan 20, 2023 1:45 am
Integra wrote: Thu Dec 08, 2022 5:13 pm

Hi, first of all, nice to see you here again. Sorry to ask in this thread, but is your 5-ht1a theory still alive? I have a friend with medical education, and he suggests some protocol for unregulating 5-ht1a.
I've paused most of my PSSD research while in medical school - it's just too much information to learn as is. Once I graduate and have a basic level of medical knowledge I plan to just back into research, hopefully with more support/funding. At that point I'm hoping the medical community takes me a bit more seriously with a degree.
hey ghost what do you think of an penile implant. also did your fetishes dissapear after pssd or pssd like symptoms?
Implant is a pretty extreme option but I think in the right context it would give someone control over erections again and thus could be good. There's just no going back.

I still am interested in women and sex, probably not as much as before PSSD but then again I was 18 then and 27 now. Hard to compare.
- Medical Student & Friendly poltergeist - Lexapro Sept '14. [Hx] [PSSD Lab] [r/PSSD] [Treatment Plan] - Add "Ghost" in replies so I see it :)
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