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braindead94
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Joined: Thu Sep 29, 2022 4:46 am
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Unread post by braindead94 »

Hi. Ive been on sertraline on and off for 9 years at 25mg, and on polypharmacy with brintellix and abilify for about 5 months (doses ranging from 50 to 300 the last months). It begun at 18, and Im 28 now

I did the stupid thing to go off CT because i always felt like the drugs were harming me (noticed it in the beginning but the rush to live, and my phobias stopped me from consodering the possibility seriously).

For the first 9 years I suffered from the blank mind thing , and certain personality changes that were somewhat bareable, but now I got full blown PSSD with every single symptom, ranging from complete blunted affect to signs of akathisia to severe insomnia.

Needless to say I consider my self stupidly hopeless and hopelessly stupid. I am barely functional and while my life falls apart I scroll and scroll and scroll these sites in hope that I'll find someone as dumb as I was who recovered.

It feels though that my case is severe and I'll just have to live like this for the rest ofy life, which of course is nightmarish, since I cant even enjoy mild pleasures like coffee anymore.

Things keep going downhill and I feel trapped. Maybe that's what my life was about, just suffering (I am also disabled physically by birth and have multiple traumas on top of OCD).

Severe dpdr, my whole life is just forgotten.
25mg Sertraline on/off 2012-2019 (blank mind only)
2019-2022 50mg sertraline only few doses.
2022 50-300 sertraline, 5-10 Abilify
April 2022 CT
Current : DPDR, severe PSSD, brain fog, complete emotional numbing, insomnia, spasms and twists
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