Blackout estradiol trial

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Blackout
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Re: Blackout estradiol trial

Unread post by Blackout »

lost_soul wrote:Blackout, dude, sorry to hear about the pain and swelling you are experiencing. How big and in what area is the breast swelling? I don't have any medical training but I experienced similar tenderness and lymph node growth in my right armpit and it did not develop into anything serious and has gone away. I really hope you are OK.
Really , did you experienced this too, and it went away? How long did it take to go away after you stopped estradiol?
Also, how do you know they were the lymph nodes? In any case, my ultrasound imaging revealed, both enlarged lymph nodes AND hypoechoic -solid- masses, one in the armpit, and one a short distance from the nipple. It has been about 3 weeks since I removed the patches and the tumors are still there, and the pain getting worse . I just controlled it with naproxen, but since it is still there , but lighter, I guess it will come back with a vengeance when I stop it since it was prescribed to me for just 6 days. But the pain doesn't matter, it is the still undiagnosed cause what frightens me.
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nasibi
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Re: Blackout estradiol trial

Unread post by nasibi »

Dude stop taking estradiol. Get yourself some Raloxifen or Tamocifen. Run it for a few weeks, you should be good. Don't wait. Hurry!
Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. :(
Blackout
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Re: Blackout estradiol trial

Unread post by Blackout »

nasibi, I didn't see your message until now. I guess it is too late for what is happening now -althoug I stopped estradiol a month ago, I continued with T injections until about a week and a half, but I guess this is the end for me.

I'm scared to death and beyond. Just after my last post, I began feeling the same discomfort, pain and burning, in my left armpit -the one that was fine-. Then the lymph nodes grew there too and are as painful as those in the other side. Pain radiates towards both arms and my torso, but now I have light burning around my belly button.

I know tamoxifen is used for gynecomastia and so, and I would have used it but since now that I'm in need of medical attention, telling them that I used both T and E (especially this last) is only giving my direct passes to psychyatry. They -GPs and endos- of course are seeing me as a candidate to a psychiatric institution for what I did, but they are ignoring the main problem itself. I took two quarters of arimidex a couple of weeks ago and my E immediately went down to levels somewhat lower than my average -I'm an arimidex overresponder-, but progression of this still continues. If I too take tamoxifen now, I fear what they would say and that they refuse to take care of my problem -more of what they have refused until now- . I guess at this point it is pretty clear that I have some kind of metastasis of lymph nodes, but they still are wanting me to do blood counts, urine analysis and a lot of shit that doesn't have to do anything with this. Even when the person that did the ultrasound and a breast medical expert which I wrote to by email both told me to see an oncologist, public health meds are not refering me to one, and instead are sending me to psychiatry and with endos, and the endo too sent my to psychiatry and told me to wait two more weeks without exogen hormones to "watch and see". Even when i can pay for an initial evaluation with an oncologist, i can't pay for biopsies and so on.

I'm really in terror. Even when cancer could end this longtime missery, it just came so suddenly that I can't believe this is happening.

nasibi, do you still think I should still take tamoxifen o n my own even with all of what is happening and what the stupid doctors are doing?

Sorry for my very bad English this time. I just can't think in anything other than cancer now.
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nasibi
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Re: Blackout estradiol trial

Unread post by nasibi »

Blackout I am sorry for what has happend to you. Tamoxifen/Raloxifen is originally used as anti (breast) cancer drugs and by bodybuilders for gyno. I would use it if I were in your situation. But then again it seems like a serious issue, specifically because of your mental state I can't make any suggestions to you. I don't know how you will react to Tamoxifen mentally.
Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. :(
Blackout
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Re: Blackout estradiol trial

Unread post by Blackout »

What scares my about tamoxifen is more memory loss. But in this case, I fear the attitude of physicians towards myself as a freak that -apparently- just uses steroids with no sense of what's doing. I would try at least to take it it they aproved that, but they are delaying everything in favor of a psychiatric diagnosis. But indeed I see this as very serious, yet they say that they dont think it is important.
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nasibi
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Re: Blackout estradiol trial

Unread post by nasibi »

Blackout wrote:What scares my about tamoxifen is more memory loss. But in this case, I fear the attitude of physicians towards myself as a freak that -apparently- just uses steroids with no sense of what's doing. I would try at least to take it it they aproved that, but they are delaying everything in favor of a psychiatric diagnosis. But indeed I see this as very serious, yet they say that they dont think it is important.
I don't know man. The decision is yours. Right now suggesting you to do or not do is giving medical advice, which I cannot.
Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. :(
fema4psyciatrists
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Re: Blackout estradiol trial

Unread post by fema4psyciatrists »

Blackout wrote:What scares my about tamoxifen is more memory loss. But in this case, I fear the attitude of physicians towards myself as a freak that -apparently- just uses steroids with no sense of what's doing. I would try at least to take it it they aproved that, but they are delaying everything in favor of a psychiatric diagnosis. But indeed I see this as very serious, yet they say that they dont think it is important.
All they care about is psychiatric diagnosis and calling you crazy thus 'getting rid' of the problem. You are not crazy.
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Luis Fernando Lopez
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Re: Blackout estradiol trial

Unread post by Luis Fernando Lopez »

Whatever happened to Blackout, is he OK?
Blackout
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Re: Blackout estradiol trial

Unread post by Blackout »

I'm back. I wasn't sure to come back, but I'm in a pretty bad state. You probably would like me to summarize what happened and focus just on the PSSD and estradio trial, but there's too much to say.

When I left last year, I was in panic due to the inflammation of my armpit lymph nodes. From that moment I stopped my experiment and took anastrazole then tamoxifen for a while until the pain and inflammation subsided. The lymph nodes didn't fully returned to their original state in a very long time, and my fear remained for several weeks while some other burning and almost knife-cutting pain appeared randomly in my 'breasts'. I did several ultrasounds and none showed anything abnormal other than enlarged lymph nodes and my gyno which had been there since a teenager. Eventually the fear began disappearing. However, during that time I noted that indeed my brain fog that accompanied me during the previous year and a half had lifted and my short term memory, although very bad, wasn't as bad as it was pre-estradiol. Aside from that, I didn't have any sexual improvement but that cognitive improvement convinced me that there was more.

During winter, I began having pelvic floor pain, which hadn't occured to me before. I didn't pay too much attention. Just that I found some information about estradiol causing prostatitis and that pain. But I was still kind of more obsessed with the breast-armpit side effects, so I just left it and eventually disappeared.

On March 15 i began a second trial, but this time I didn't use patches. I just did high TRT or mild cycle which began with 200 mg T per week in divided doses, but I left the T to aromatize freely. Just as the few weeks I had did the same back in February 2012 when for one single night I recovered my full sexuality and then it disappeared forever, which I attribute to the introduction of arimidex since I was having swollen ankles -back then, I repeat, 2012.

After a month, the swollen and painful lymph nodes returned, however, guess what? It began to work. For the first time in 8 years, I began to have nocturnal erections, and not some days, but daily. Other times where I did T cycles but always using arimidex, I didn't had that effect. And not only that. Although libido as it is didn't show up, I began to think about women more frequently, think about one specific person and then as I knew that it was impossible to have a relationship with her because she's married, I too began thinking daily on the idea of contacting other girls on the web.

However, as my lymph nodes got swollen, I immeadiately did tests to know specifically the levels I had attained: estradiol at 95 pg/ml (range 11-44), total T at 9.4 ng/ml (range 1.75-7.8) but... to my shocking surprise, after living with a non existent free T value since I acquired PSSD, and after it increased somewhat for the first time during my first trial last year, this time my free T was 101.1 (range 4.45-42). I didn't test anything else except IGF-1, which was within range but on the upper side. I should have done.

I didn't imagine that my free T would reach a value like that, much less in just one month, so I began to tapper down. My hematocrit was elevated and my HDL plummeted, so it really wasn't safe that. I also added arimidex once again in micro doses and every week I repeated tests. I really turned to be an overresponder to arimidex and that explains to myself a lot of my previous and failed experiments with T. Some days my E2 came back as low as 4, others it was 60, 45, as I continued to slowly tapped down. Then i became extremely ill at the beginning of May and had to tapper more quickly. It was apparently a gastrointestinal infection but i don't know, since as I have stated before i'm not fine regarding the digestive tract, and I was having a lot of blood in my stool -bad, since i know T promotes colon cancer. By the way, my daily erections and daily thinking about women stopped as this 'infection' began. I had chronic nausea during the next two months. But the worse par wasn't that.

The pelvic pain returned with a vengeance, and it has been steadily increasing week by week, day by day. I now have to go to pee several times during day and night. But the breast issues that scared me initially are nothing compared to what I found during the past month. There are lots of experiments done in male rats where they used the combination of E2 and T. Every single study that accounts that, tells that there is a 100% incidence of aggressive prostate cancer in rats treated with both hormones, and even more, all of those tumors arose from what is called the periurethral ducts, which I found don't elevate PSA, and my PSA is as low as it was 6 years ago. I now feel really, really sentenced to a horrible death if I don't commit suicide soon. Prostate cancer scares me a lot more than breast cancer due to its direct relationship with my PSSD damaged reproductive system, and because it can be more tricky to diagnose until it's too late in many cases. I don't know what to do, anything. I was welll aware of the thromboembolism and breast cancer risks, but I never imagined that the prostate too was affected by estradiol but worse by high E2 + T together. I was using aspirin to reduce the thromboembolism risk, and I counted on SERMs to counter any other breast-armpit issues. But regarding the prostate...

I have prostate-urethral-groin pain all day and night now. I have had appointments with two urologists. The first didn't said much, although he performed an ultrasound at office, he just said that I had prostatitis and enlarged prostate, and the second one asked me to go on my own for another ultrasound and it indeed showed that I have both prostatitis and prostatic enlargement -I don't know if calling it benign at this time. To add to my fears, there appear to be several calcified lesions which the interpretation calls amyloid body calcifications. But the experiments in rats mentioned that there were both prostatitis with lesions and enlargement. I'm terrified. And those experiments said that the rats developed precancerous lesions at 13 weeks and full cancer at 36 weeks. My two experiments, although they were not constant, combined lasted 22 weeks. And I don't know which one was worse for my prostate. In the first one, I don't know what hormonal values resulted from the combined 4 patches and two full injections of T -I guess they were two injections, but I don't remember well. In this second one I began with 200 mg a week (of T), but given my super high free T, it is for sure that my DHT, implicated in the prostatic enlargement, should have been very high.

I'm now sure that I am doomed. The second urologist told me that those calcified lesions mean nothing related to what I did -I told him everything-. He suggested taking finasteride among other things, but that would be a huge blow to an already misserable life. And additionally, I researched and found that finasteride can induce high grade prostate cancer in the longer term and also increases the risk of breast cancer. And maybe I already have cancer, I am sure of it given the continued increase in pain and counting the results in rats. I have tested my PSA twice a month apart, and the second back came even lower than the first. I'm really obsessed now.

The urologist said that either if I want or don't want to take finasteride, I should be doing PSA tests and ultrasound from now on every 6 months. It will be a nightmare, a true nightmare to live just to wait for the moment when a cancer can be diagnosed, maybe when it has spread.

I really am lost. And my hormone levels are down to hypogonadism, with total T below range and E2 at 35, which is a high ratio which in turn is bad to the prostate as I know.

I now am sure that estradiol could be the cure, if it was not a killer substance by itself. It is not a viable option, until someday a SERM or something similar, with all the goods and none of the bads can be developed. I even found some studies saying that estradiol and/or raloxifene have been tested for schizophrenia and they have had some benefit for the negative symptoms too, which as I said in the past and not only me, they are so similar to PSSD affective and cognitive issues. I'm now sure that it was not sertraline that did my initial damage to me back in 2011, but my impulsive proviron -DHT analogue- use in late 2010, which killed the estradiol in my brain for about 3 months before restarting my hormone axis and almost immeadiately began with sertraline.

I guess this could be one of the last times I write here, since it is obvious that experimentation and everything is over for me, forever. I may die, or I may be receive a second castration from finasteride or maybe other antiandrogen drugs. Sorry for writing more about my prostate problems than about the experiment results . During the last weeks I have been just obsessed with the idea on how to accept the fact that I may be dead soon without having everknown how does love, sex, a kiss, a cuddle feel.
Blackout
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Re: Blackout estradiol trial

Unread post by Blackout »

I'm back. I wasn't sure to come back, but I'm in a pretty bad state. You probably would like me to summarize what happened and focus just on the PSSD and estradio trial, but there's too much to say.

When I left last year, I was in panic due to the inflammation of my armpit lymph nodes. From that moment I stopped my experiment and took anastrazole then tamoxifen for a while until the pain and inflammation subsided. The lymph nodes didn't fully returned to their original state in a very long time, and my fear remained for several weeks while some other burning and almost knife-cutting pain appeared randomly in my 'breasts'. I did several ultrasounds and none showed anything abnormal other than enlarged lymph nodes and my gyno which had been there since a teenager. Eventually the fear began disappearing. However, during that time I noted that indeed my brain fog that accompanied me during the previous year and a half had lifted and my short term memory, although very bad, wasn't as bad as it was pre-estradiol. Aside from that, I didn't have any sexual improvement but that cognitive improvement convinced me that there was more.

During winter, I began having pelvic floor pain, which hadn't occured to me before. I didn't pay too much attention. Just that I found some information about estradiol causing prostatitis and that pain. But I was still kind of more obsessed with the breast-armpit side effects, so I just left it and eventually disappeared.

On March 15 i began a second trial, but this time I didn't use patches. I just did high TRT or mild cycle which began with 200 mg T per week in divided doses, but I left the T to aromatize freely. Just as the few weeks I had did the same back in February 2012 when for one single night I recovered my full sexuality and then it disappeared forever, which I attribute to the introduction of arimidex since I was having swollen ankles -back then, I repeat, 2012.

After a month, the swollen and painful lymph nodes returned, however, guess what? It began to work. For the first time in 8 years, I began to have nocturnal erections, and not some days, but daily. Other times where I did T cycles but always using arimidex, I didn't had that effect. And not only that. Although libido as it is didn't show up, I began to think about women more frequently, think about one specific person and then as I knew that it was impossible to have a relationship with her because she's married, I too began thinking daily on the idea of contacting other girls on the web.

However, as my lymph nodes got swollen, I immeadiately did tests to know specifically the levels I had attained: estradiol at 95 pg/ml (range 11-44), total T at 9.4 ng/ml (range 1.75-7.8) but... to my shocking surprise, after living with a non existent free T value since I acquired PSSD, and after it increased somewhat for the first time during my first trial last year, this time my free T was 101.1 (range 4.45-42). I didn't test anything else except IGF-1, which was within range but on the upper side. I should have done.

I didn't imagine that my free T would reach a value like that, much less in just one month, so I began to tapper down. My hematocrit was elevated and my HDL plummeted, so it really wasn't safe that. I also added arimidex once again in micro doses and every week I repeated tests. I really turned to be an overresponder to arimidex and that explains to myself a lot of my previous and failed experiments with T. Some days my E2 came back as low as 4, others it was 60, 45, as I continued to slowly tapped down. Then i became extremely ill at the beginning of May and had to tapper more quickly. It was apparently a gastrointestinal infection but i don't know, since as I have stated before i'm not fine regarding the digestive tract, and I was having a lot of blood in my stool -bad, since i know T promotes colon cancer. By the way, my daily erections and daily thinking about women stopped as this 'infection' began. I had chronic nausea during the next two months. But the worse par wasn't that.

The pelvic pain returned with a vengeance, and it has been steadily increasing week by week, day by day. I now have to go to pee several times during day and night. But the breast issues that scared me initially are nothing compared to what I found during the past month. There are lots of experiments done in male rats where they used the combination of E2 and T. Every single study that accounts that, tells that there is a 100% incidence of aggressive prostate cancer in rats treated with both hormones, and even more, all of those tumors arose from what is called the periurethral ducts, which I found don't elevate PSA, and my PSA is as low as it was 6 years ago. I now feel really, really sentenced to a horrible death if I don't commit suicide soon. Prostate cancer scares me a lot more than breast cancer due to its direct relationship with my PSSD damaged reproductive system, and because it can be more tricky to diagnose until it's too late in many cases. I don't know what to do, anything. I was welll aware of the thromboembolism and breast cancer risks, but I never imagined that the prostate too was affected by estradiol but worse by high E2 + T together. I was using aspirin to reduce the thromboembolism risk, and I counted on SERMs to counter any other breast-armpit issues. But regarding the prostate...

I have prostate-urethral-groin pain all day and night now. I have had appointments with two urologists. The first didn't said much, although he performed an ultrasound at office, he just said that I had prostatitis and enlarged prostate, and the second one asked me to go on my own for another ultrasound and it indeed showed that I have both prostatitis and prostatic enlargement -I don't know if calling it benign at this time. To add to my fears, there appear to be several calcified lesions which the interpretation calls amyloid body calcifications. But the experiments in rats mentioned that there were both prostatitis with lesions and enlargement. I'm terrified. And those experiments said that the rats developed precancerous lesions at 13 weeks and full cancer at 36 weeks. My two experiments, although they were not constant, combined lasted 22 weeks. And I don't know which one was worse for my prostate. In the first one, I don't know what hormonal values resulted from the combined 4 patches and two full injections of T -I guess they were two injections, but I don't remember well. In this second one I began with 200 mg a week (of T), but given my super high free T, it is for sure that my DHT, implicated in the prostatic enlargement, should have been very high.

I'm now sure that I am doomed. The second urologist told me that those calcified lesions mean nothing related to what I did -I told him everything-. He suggested taking finasteride among other things, but that would be a huge blow to an already misserable life. And additionally, I researched and found that finasteride can induce high grade prostate cancer in the longer term and also increases the risk of breast cancer. And maybe I already have cancer, I am sure of it given the continued increase in pain and counting the results in rats. I have tested my PSA twice a month apart, and the second back came even lower than the first. I'm really obsessed now.

The urologist said that either if I want or don't want to take finasteride, I should be doing PSA tests and ultrasound from now on every 6 months. It will be a nightmare, a true nightmare to live just to wait for the moment when a cancer can be diagnosed, maybe when it has spread.

I really am lost. And my hormone levels are down to hypogonadism, with total T below range and E2 at 35, which is a high ratio which in turn is bad to the prostate as I know.

I now am sure that estradiol could be the cure, if it was not a killer substance by itself. It is not a viable option, until someday a SERM or something similar, with all the goods and none of the bads can be developed. I even found some studies saying that estradiol and/or raloxifene have been tested for schizophrenia and they have had some benefit for the negative symptoms too, which as I said in the past and not only me, they are so similar to PSSD affective and cognitive issues. I'm now sure that it was not sertraline that did my initial damage to me back in 2011, but my impulsive proviron -DHT analogue- use in late 2010, which killed the estradiol in my brain for about 3 months before restarting my hormone axis and almost immeadiately began with sertraline.

I guess this could be one of the last times I write here, since it is obvious that experimentation and everything is over for me, forever. I may die, or I may be receive a second castration from finasteride or maybe other antiandrogen drugs. Sorry for writing more about my prostate problems than about the experiment results . During the last weeks I have been just obsessed with the idea on how to accept the fact that I may be dead soon without having everknown how does love, sex, a kiss, a cuddle feel.
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